all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
