oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
