carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
