o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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