two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
