"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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