the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
