He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
