If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
