he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
