i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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