The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Oh god it's open bar.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
