I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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