Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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