Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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