so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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