Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
