just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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