Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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