I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
