So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
