The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
