so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
