Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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