yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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