Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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