We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
