I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
