Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
