that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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