we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
