wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
