New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize