Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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