I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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