And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
