Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
