lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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