I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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