So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
