Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
