I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
