i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
