# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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