erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
