He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
