i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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