sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
