is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
