Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We smell like vodka and hangover
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