I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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