Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I came so hard my ears popped.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
